VULNERABILITY

VULNERABILITY

By Annalisa Morris The safest place for my heart to be is open. Open to God, open to people, open to what I’m feeling and what my process is. Vulnerability is the key and vulnerability is a process. The process of realizing things about myself, letting myself change and edit, being ok with where I’m at, even when I’m in the middle. I get to know in the core of my being that I will be ok, even in the hardest parts, by being honest with myself, with God, and with people. Here’s the thing about me: I really know how to be myself. I am who I am no matter where I go or no matter who I am around. This only came from me learning to be ok even when I wasn’t ok. I had to see that my hard or negative feelings have value and are worth understanding. By being vulnerable with how I felt and what I was going through, then getting acceptance there, I could be secure in being me. And even when I didn’t get the validation or acceptance I wanted from people, I realized I got more than enough grace from God and could give it to myself. When I started to like myself, being vulnerable wasn’t scary. I knew how God and I felt about me, and so I knew I would be ok no matter what. Vulnerability wasn’t really an option for me at first. I’m not good at hiding what I’m thinking or feeling, even to a fault. I wear my heart on my sleeve and give it so...
PRAYER IS LIKE A RELATIONSHIP

PRAYER IS LIKE A RELATIONSHIP

Prayer is a lot like relationships. It’s not always easy, it’s not always immediately gratifying, but it gives the gifts, depth, and rewards that are eternal. I just recently started dating someone and, let me tell you, it is often more than I bargained for. You can read all the books you want, talk to all the people you want, strive for all the emotional health in the world, but you will still have things come up to work out with that person once you are there. When your feet hit the pavement and the theory becomes reality, you still have to choose God, choose that person, and choose to love unconditionally every day. Some days it’s easy. Some days you are completely in love and there’s nothing else you would rather choose. Some days it takes conscious effort. Some days it takes a depth of faithfulness, patience, and generosity that could only come from God Himself. A couple of years ago, I started to lead one prayer meeting a week. Last year I helped lead two, and each year God has given me the grace for more of what He’s called me into for that time and season. Each time as He gently leads me into more, I’m wondering how I could possibly handle more responsibility or another commitment. I see it in the physical realm, and immediately think of the struggles or lack I might feel. I think to myself, after working all day meeting the needs of my company and clients, I need free time. I need time to relax. I need me-time. What a lie....
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