DEMYSTIFYING DATING

DEMYSTIFYING DATING

From 2015 by Connor Mullen: How do you have peace about entering a relationship? Recently, I was posed this question by a couple in our church. It’s an excellent question, one that I have heard quite a bit. Pulling from experience, I’ve broken the answer down to two fundamental things I have found true for myself: Knowing ourselves and who we are in Christ helps us know the desires that God has placed on our heart. Constructing a list of qualities and characteristics, drawing from our experience around people (hint: look at your best friends) and in dating, that are attractive to us. A part of God giving us freewill is the ability to exercise it. Plain and simple. We choose God, He chose us. We choose to love others, for love can’t exist without freewill. At the end of the day, a choice is much more powerful when we make it ourselves. I teach at a local high school, and time and time again students say, “Mr. Mullen, just tell me the answer!” In response, I ask them questions that pull the answer out of them. God does the same with us. Sure, He guides us in the process. But at the end of the day, choosing to date someone is a decision we make … and it’s not rocket science. We run into problems when we put dating on the same level as marriage. It creates the unrealistic expectation that you are going all in before you have even begun to play the game. That’s pretty scary, isn’t it? How many people want that? Dating is a...
THE COST OF LEADERSHIP

THE COST OF LEADERSHIP

I once had a mentor say to me, “Blessed are those who are called to lead for they will be shot down.” I could not agree more. At the time, I had not pastored long, nor experienced some of the challenges of leadership that I have faced today. I did not understand the cost of leadership, nor could I comprehend why, in both Biblical times and today, a high percentage of leaders do not finish well. People can often forget that leaders are flawed. We forget that most, if not the best of them, did not pursue the role of leadership…it found them. Leadership found David taking care of sheep in a field when Samuel the prophet came to anoint him as the next King of Israel. Leadership found Moses when he was watching his father-in-law’s herd. In this place, God commissioned him – sending him to deliver His people out of Egypt. Leadership found Peter fishing. Jesus spoke to him, calling Him to become a fisher of men. This has been my story with leadership. I did not choose it, it found me. I was content with loving God and living my own life, but Jehovah-sneaky had other plans. He moved me into a pastor role in 2005 and, by His grace, I have continued to move forward in this role to this day (honestly, without His grace I would have been out a long time ago). No one told me about the cost of leadership. No one told me friendly fire was real. I had no idea that I needed to manage other people’s expectations of me....

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