Commitment is a lost art among our generation. With our instant-microwave culture, when things don’t entertain or please immediately, it’s easy to move on to the next thing and desire the latest and greatest. As a child of divorce, it was hard for me to see that relationships could last beyond disagreement. Love isn’t measured by how much you fight, I would even argue that you need to fight for what you care about. Holly and Jason Lomelino played a big role in helping me realize this and helping me see what a marriage can really look like. Here in this excerpt from “They Ruined Me,” from The Family of God, I illustrate this talking about my experience being fathered and mothered by them:
“I was stunned that Holly and Jason would commit themselves to me and my dreams without even knowing me. They had a faith in God like nothing I had seen before, and they were choosing to pursue covenantal relationship with me simply because He said so. Jason took on a fatherly role, always wishing to guide and protect me but never afraid to push me beyond my comfort zone. Holly was quick to nurture and care for me while also sharpening me with her honesty and wisdom.
I began to hang out with their family more and to see what it was like to genuinely live life with them. I think I’ve learned more about God from watching Jason interact with his daughter Hope than any workbook or sermon could ever teach me. I learned from Jason and Holly what covenantal love looked like where no example served before. They showed me through their disagreements and imperfections that they were still committed and always for each other, no matter what. It was strange to see that such a love really existed. It wasn’t a fairy tale, and it didn’t always seem like rainbows and butterflies, but there was true love there that was never giving up and never backing down.”
This love wasn’t like a Taylor Swift song, but it was still producing so much fruit and life. Maybe there is more to love than what movies and television have shown us. Maybe there’s a value in commitment, covenant, and fighting for someone else’s dreams. Jason and Holly were one of the first real life examples of marriage I had and showed me what love looks like through selflessly fathering and mothering me. Past their commitment for each other, they had a commitment to me. They loved me through mistakes, hurt, insecurities, failures and I did the same for them. I realized what covenant is and it’s value even in our ever changing culture. This is true love. This is what we are living for.