People are always writing about how to do relationships or dating well, but the truth of the matter is that more people are single than connected. Who’s out there to speak to us single people? Well, I’m here to represent. Being a self-appointed expert of singleness, (I’ve spent 26 years of my life happily and unhappily single) I think I may have something to say on the matter of how to accept and enjoy this phase of life. People are always asking me, “Annalisa, how do you make singleness seem so easy?” or, “How could you be so gracefully single?” Ok, no one’s ever asked me that, but maybe they will after hearing these tips:
- Embrace it: Once you get married, you’re (hopefully) married forever. So make an effort to do the things that may be more difficult once you’ve settled down. Travel, spend endless amounts of time with friends, be spontaneous, and live that YOLO lifestyle. I’ve found that I appreciate my singleness most when I spend my money. Most married people need to check in with each other when spending money, something I will cheerfully submit to when I’m there. For now, I blissfully check in with myself, and I’m usually ok with my semi-frequent, frivolous purchases.
- Don’t torture yourself: If the rom-coms, pinterest boards, or hanging with a certain person is not helping you stay content, then don’t put yourself in that situation. You have to see what’s right for you and what you can or can’t handle. Only you can determine that and only you are capable of holding yourself to it.
- Enjoy the process: While you aren’t in a relationship, you can learn a lot that will prepare you to be in one. Learn about yourself, who you are, what you like, and what you don’t like. I, for example, have learned that decisiveness is something I really value in a friend and my current suitor.
- Thankfulness is more attractive than self-pity: You’ve got to stay thankful. So, you haven’t found the one yet. You still have a lot to be thankful for in your life, and pining about your singleness won’t help anything. Count your blessings because I bet you have more than you think. Every season has goodness in it and God has good for you every day. You get to find it and feel content, now in your singleness, and later if and when you aren’t.
- Make more friends: Learn how to have good relationships with members of each sex. Having good brothers and sisters will teach you a lot and these relationships can bring lasting joy and fulfillment. Learn to relish the friend zone. It’s a nice zone that doesn’t have to be complicated or arduous. Marriage isn’t forever, we won’t have a spouse in heaven, but our friendships will continue.
- Live your life: Go after your dreams. Live life to the fullest. The right person will come along and add to your life and your goals and your dreams. So start living now, don’t wait for your person to come and make life happen. Life doesn’t just happen to you, you have to live it.
I hope these help you in your journey. This list is by no means exhaustive, but they are a tips I’ve found to be helpful. I’m a catch and I know some other catches around here, so repeat after me: singleness won’t be forever. But, let’s enjoy it while it lasts. For the next two weeks. Or month. Or quarter. Or God knows how long, but probably pretty soon.